IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT
By Judy Bierman
This is just a little gapfiller after Lines of Communication. I must say that this piece was inspired by and is a small homage to Tish Williamson's work. Special thanks to Danielle for her 'once over,' and JD for her inspiration and support.
As disclaimers go, this is as usual....nothing B5 is mine, but I thank the Great Maker for letting me play in his universe.
It was 3:15 am, and he lay awake staring at the ceiling. Twelve year old Johnny Sheridan had that same creepy dream, but after it reoccurred for three years, he found it was just a dream and not a nightmare. The odd looking boy in his sleeping mind with blue fingernails and horns, and had become familiar visitor there.
When he had just turned nine he felt differently. He wasn't sure if the small creature was a monster, devil or alien. Over time, Johnny started visioning the little horned person in his waking mind. The creature was not menacing. Infact it's tranlucent white skin made it seem almost angelic, but the words the horned boy spoke troubled Johnny.
"Who are you?" was what the little creature whispered as it reached out to him . There were other things it said, but that one question always lingered in Johnny's mind. Soon... very soon Johnny's dreams were filled with other things. Things that all boys his age dreamed of, so the little horned creature slid to the inner reaches of his mind.
It was 15 years later, and career soldier John Sheridan had long forgotten his childhood dream. There was too much happening for dreaming now. The Earth-Minbari War had begun, and it was a year before the destuction of the presently unknow Minbari destroyer Black Star. Nothing was the same, including a regular sleep schedule.
It was then that John had what he called, 'that crazy floating eyes dream.' It always came to him just before waking. Large luminescent eyes that burned with sadness, and sometimes appeared to him crying. At first the sad eyes seemed to silently plead with him, but shortly before that terrible day on the Lexington, there was a haunting voice questioning, 'Who do you trust?'
At first he found the question unsettling upon his wakening, causing him to search his soul for an answer, but then as humans say 'all hell broke loose.' and he found trusting himself to be the biggest challenge of his life. Dreams were forgotten in the nightmare of a living war.
The year was 2258. John Sheridan, still grief stricken buried himself in work on the Agememnon. Too many things reminded him of his beloved Anna, including his family. So life, as it were, was held at an arm's distance. He was reading some tactical reports, as he always had done before bed in hopes of warding off dreams of his late love, when he drifted off into a much needed slumber.
He started hearing her voice in those sleeping moments. It was far away, and and spoke of insignificant yet comforting things they had shared. For the first time in months he awoke rested, though a little stiff from the awkward sleeping position at his desk, but truely rested. He was not a spirital man, but felt Anna's presence in his dreams were a sign of her love...or was it his guilt. That was till a white shrouded figure was attatched to Anna's voice in a dream.
He needed to gaze on her face, but her head was hooded. Her voice comforted him at night, until she murmured 'Do you have anything worth living for?' Desperately, he to see her face, to remember it, to understand what she ment, to see if she was forgiving him for being too busy for her, and not telling her he loved her one last time. He wasn't sure that he actually had anything worth living for, but being a soldier he easily found things worth dying for, so he once again buried himself in work.
It had been quite awhile since John remembered any of his dreams, and years since he remembered the reoccurring ones. He was nudged by Delenn's bonecrest gently rubbing his cheek. She, however was fast asleep in his arms. They sat on her sofa chatting when she drifted off to sleep in his arms. He was thinking about the future, their future, as he gently held her. As he succumbed to his own exaustion, his mind unleashed the past. Dreams of the past.
There was the little boy with horns...ok one horn, his childhood visitor. Then the floating eyes, large, sad, luminescent green eyes slipped into his mind......maybe they weren't really sad, and had they always been green? It was then that Anna's hooded figure that appeared, but the voice wasn't her's. At first he thought it was his father, but then he thought it was Kosh. John was drifting between the wake and sleeping world.
"We are one." the voice echoed. "We are one." Maybe it was the shock of Delenn's sweet face with it's translucent skin and large expressive eyes being revealed beneath the hood he thought held Anna's face, or possibly the actual soft caresses of Delenn's bonecrest on his cheek, that brought John fully awake. Unaware of his own tearfilled eyes, he doted on the woman in his arms. John gently kissed her on her forhead with incredible reverence while thinking of his love for her, and how much he had missed her in even in his dreams.
Yes, he loved, missed and wanted her forever in his arms. As if to hear John's mental yearnings, Delenn's eyes fluttered open. John's beautiful hazel eyes were locked on her. She couldn't tell from his expression what he was thinking, but saw his eyes briming with unshed tears.
"What John?" she whispered as she reached to caress his cheek with her hand. He was at a loss for words at his own revelation. He turned his face into her hand, kissing her palm. She sighed as an understanding smile bloomed on her face. "John Sheridan, What do you want?" she murmered as she snuggled closer to him.
"Nothing." John said with a look of total contentment she had never seen on his face before. "I need nothing, Delenn. Everything I've ever wanted is right here." He held he tightly as he looked at the ceiling trying to hold back the tears. He tilted his head to look down at her as one lone tear escaped down his cheek. "Right here," he sighed "close to my heart, Delenn!" The next morning she left for Minbar in hopes of settling the ongoing strife. His soul missed it's other half, but his heart held her fast.
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